


Short Stack

by americanchemicals



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Height Differences, M/M, Short One Shot, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 11:17:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13293702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanchemicals/pseuds/americanchemicals
Summary: An AU where the first words your soulmate ever tells you are marked on your wrist.And Shane isn't disappointed, because he knows he'll know his soulmate right away, with how unique his words are.After all, not many people greet others by saying, "You're a fucking Sasquatch."





	Short Stack

Shane isn't disappointed, because he knows he'll know his soulmate right away, with how unique his words are.

After all, not many people greet others by saying, "You're a fucking Sasquatch."

Some people had the most confusing words marked on their wrists, like "Hello." Anyone could be your soulmate at that point. Shane couldn't even imagine how frustrating it must be to try and figure out who you're destined to be with forever based off the word "Hello." 

He hoped that he would say something different from, "Hello," the first time he'd meet his soulmate. He couldn't imagine forcing someone to suffer living for years with literally the most basic words ever on their wrist. 

Of course, his parents weren't pleased that his words contained a swear word, because at a very young age he had incorporated that exact word into his daily dictionary, which earned him a lot of reprimanding from teachers at school. But as he got older, especially into adulthood, his family had turned it into more of a joke than anything. Any time that Shane complained about having to order custom pants that were long enough, for example, his mother would respond, "Well, it is because you're a fucking Sasquatch."

Most of the time, he covered his words with a long-sleeved flannel, but when his friends did see it they were just as amused. 

-

Ryan mostly took offense at his words. Seriously, who insults their soulmate the first time they meet him? He was already a little sensitive when it came to the topic of his height, but it was average for men, he wasn't that short. 

People thought that his words were endearing, but he hated them. Well, he didn't hate them, because hate was a strong word. He just felt a bit of spite when he would read them over, and he didn't like other people reading them. He covered his words with a watch, and changed the topic when people asked them about it. It spread quickly that his words were a more sensitive topic, and thankfully he was very rarely asked about them.

But of course, he worked at Buzzfeed, and everyone there was overly nosy. 

"Hey, Ryan, we're doing a video about people that don't have any soul words, do you know anyone?" Jen asked him one day, a knowing glint in her eye.

"No, why would I know anyone like that?" he snapped, and she raised her arms in defeat, like she wasn't meaning to cause any offense. He wasn't even going to correct her, because why should he care if people think he doesn't have a soulmate? Maybe then they'll leave him alone to be bitter about the topic of soulmates. 

He got up from his chair, saying he was going to get coffee, but walked in the opposite direction of the kitchen. There was some commotion going on in one of the conference rooms, and he recognized it as the company welcoming a new employee. Great, another person that'll probably irritate him and ask him about his stupid words. Why did people even care? 

He entered the conference room, because usually these things had free food, and Ryan had skipped breakfast. Sadly, people noticed him, and Ned waved him over.

"Shane, this is Ryan Bergara, he's a senior video editor here," Ned introduced him. Shane, the new guy, was really freaking tall. Like, Empire State Human tall. Looking at Shane from head to toe, he couldn't help the words that next left his mouth. 

"You're a fucking Sasquatch." Shane froze after Ryan spoke, but his response was almost immediate. 

"You're one to talk, short stack." 

Ryan was ready to get into an argument, ready to fight, when his brain registered what Shane had just said. Shane, who seemed pretty calm, kept talking while Ryan tried to process.

"Want to get married?"

"Sure," Ryan agreed, still processing, and the small crowd around them grew quiet, confused.

"Did you just propose to him?" Zach asked, and Shane cheerily said 'yes,' still extremely calm and content. Ryan, brows furrowed, looked like he was in the middle of a math test, completely lost.

There was a long pause of silence, and Ned spoke up again.

"Are we missing something?"

"We're soulmates!" Shane smiled, pulling back his sleeve to show the married man the words inscribed on his wrist. 

"Ryan Bergara has a soulmate?" Someone in the back asked incredulously, and Ryan finally snapped out of his daze, telling them to shut up. 

-

"You have a lot of rage, you know, for someone so short," Shane commented, taking a sip of his coffee.

"First, I'm average height, and second, you didn't notice this the first time we met?" Ryan replied, typing loudly on his computer as he responded to an email. 

"Oh, I definitely noticed," Shane giggled, eyebrows raised, and Ryan spun in his chair to face him. 

"Keep it up and I'll ask for a divorce." He reached forward, and took the mug out of Shane's hands, finishing the hot beverage. 

"Okay, fun size."

"We need new desk arrangements," Eugene whined, tired of their banter. 

"Eugene, now is not the time, my marriage is in shambles!" Shane cried dramatically, a smile wide on his face. Ryan laughed at his antics, and Eugene groaned, putting on his headphones to drown them out. 

"Don't the height jokes ever get old?" Zach asked, looking up from his computer.

"Look at him, I'll never run out of material, he's a fucking Sasquatch," Ryan gestured, handing the empty mug back to his husband. 

"Keep talking, short stack."

"Sounds like you boys have an obvious size kink going on," Jen teased as she walked by, and Shane chucked a pen at her. 

"This is a professional workplace!" he yelled after her, but sending a wink Ryan's way. 

Zach groaned, watching the exchange, but happy nonetheless for the two dorks in love. 

 


End file.
